I originally started a blog, as an outlet. As a way to express myself with the freedom to be able to voice my opinion. This was a novelty growing up. I also wanted to be able to explore the various fictional worlds I lived, and see who else shared my interest. In a small town, my friends would share a couple at most of my interests.
I want to review. I love reviewing. Delving into the minutia of a fictional world and find my meaning, even if said meaning differed from someone else’s. I love to see what others do when they look at the same thing as me. I love books, movies and TV shows, and as a nerd, if I could capitalize on my near-obsession with certain ones and make a living of that, or become the published author that I also want to be, then that would be a dream come true.
I think that the true reason for my various social media accounts, and this blog was for attention. I’ve spent most of my life feeling invisible, and part of that was deliberate. It was necessary. But I don’t live in fear of monsters anymore, and I feel like anytime I want to step into the sunlight, I get shoved back into the shadows. I want to know that I’m being noticed, that someone sees me. That my voice is heard, and get the confirmation that it matters. Then again, this could become a double edged sword, and my being notice might not work out in my favor.
But living in fear of what could happen as an existence I don’t want to endure anymore. Human beings are evolved to survive, but survival means nothing if there is nothing beyond that. Then it is only a matter of: to be or not to be. And the answer to that question is one we can only hope to answer for ourselves.